BECOMING WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE

Being forced into living a life I never wanted sums up my story. But if you’d like to learn its deeper meaning, please continue reading.
I’m Hamra, ever since I can remember I wanted to be in a creative field. What field, I wasn’t sure because I was never allowed to think beyond the expectation that was set for me. “Meri beti doctor banegi” - “My daughter is going to become a doctor.”
I was made to believe that is what’s meant for me because I am good in sciences. I used to score really high in biology and chemistry, and just on the basis of numbers everyone was convinced and in fact I successfully convinced myself too.
At the age of 16, I left home to go to Canada for my higher studies. As I arrived at the airport and saw tears in my dad’s eyes, I told him, “Papa, mein apko doctor ban ke dikhaungi.”  - “Papa, I will become a doctor one day.” And I think my dad took this way too seriously. 😛

I completed my high school from Hudson college Toronto, mainly sciences. Even when I enjoyed subjects like English literature and the projects we were given, I decided to keep my promise and pursue sciences and unfortunately, I was still good at them.
I got into University of Ottawa and then I had a phone call from home saying, “Hello, actually there is some change in plans. We would now like for you to move to Pakistan.”
I was the “good girl” and quietly moved because I didn’t want to be the reason for my parents' stress.

Pakistan was an alien country even after being a Pakistani myself  because I grew up in Africa in a country by the atlantic ocean called Cameroon. I was a water baby…. still am. I dream of the ocean but life brought me to texas. Texas has its own sweet things, I’m happy here. 🙂

A few months after arriving in Pakistan, I sat for my medical entry exam and failed. I had people appearing for that exam for the 3rd or 4th time. For me, personally that was a little too much. If they were doing that out of passion, I am proud of them, but if they’re wasting those years because of family pressure of “meri beti doctor banegi” -  I feel them and I want to hug them so hard, and cry with them a little.

For me this was an opportunity to finally switch paths at the right time, and when I brought that up, it was shut down. It was shut down because creative fields are looked very down upon and Science fields were the way to go. I know my parents wanted the best for me according to what they knew or experienced. They wanted me to be safe and I respect their efforts wholeheartedly. I live with them and I love them and there is no one on earth like them, and no one can love me the way they love and no one notices that stress face as much as my dad and when he gives a kiss on the forehead, everything feels easier to handle.

I completed my Doctor of Physical therapy only to make my dad happy and I am proud of myself for giving them that. But NOW WHAT? The real world is post school, and when you are not passionate enough about a field, especially when it is so competitive you stay behind, and thats exactly what happened with me.
I saw well connected people get jobs so easily for which hundreds of candidates like me with no connections applied for. Wait in line for that one interview and just in front of your eyes you see an influential person enters, speaks with the hiring managers and buys the job for their son or daughter.

A few years passed by and I moved to America for my masters. This move was quite spontaneous and unplanned but had to happen. My career in Pakistan wasn’t working out and I got into serious protests against PPTA (Pakistan Physical therapy association). These protests were for people like me suffering to get a job. Some of my own college professors hated me because they were part of the discrimination, and suddenly my name was bad mouthed everywhere and in a massive facebook group of all health professionals, my name was announced to make sure no one ever gives me work. So obviously I had to leave somehow, I started receiving threat calls and people writing swear words on my home gate. I laugh about it now, but I am proud that I stood up for the truth.

THE BREAKTHROUGH:

Now here’s the main story. In all these years, this girl was a dreamer. She was talkative and lost at the same time. She was quiet but observant, she was listening to others but building her own world in a parallel world where she was free to choose her own path. She was a storyteller, you want her to make up a story right there she will think of one instantly and narrate one. She will watch movies and get consumed by characters. She listened to everyone deeply, understood them, tried to be there for them, and somehow managed to say the right things to make them feel safe. She was a protector and a nurturer. She couldn’t write her story yet but she wouldn’t miss a single chance to learn about others and what they’re doing, how they’re doing it. She was a writer who never wrote. She was a performer who never performed. She was a leader who never led. She would take a picture of a tree in summers and wait till winters to take a picture of the same tree, not because she loved taking pictures in particular. She was just so fascinated by change and adjustment and the story behind a tree shedding and regaining its leaves. Funny part, she didn’t even know all this was going to give birth to something beautiful. That one day she will have a business rooted in stories. Where she sets the tone, the meaning, the directions and sometimes even acts if she has to.

WYWY was building inside of me and I didn’t know. Yes, the decision was made overnight. Because I didn’t want to wait anymore. I didn’t ask anyone. I just started. I knew if I asked, one doubtful feedback will throw me back and destroy my confidence to start. I quietly visited fabric shops, printing shops, embroidery places, just to learn and observe. I wasn’t ready but I was in action. I would like to give huge credit to 2 people who helped me start this journey. My husband Irteza and my dearest friend Tayyaba. Life brought these 2 people in my life at different times but when I needed them the most. My husband held my hand throughout unstable times and cleared the path for me, and Tayyaba walked with me, through thick and thin. And lastly I must thank all the corporate companies who rejected me, fired me, laid me off. All slowly contributed in clearing my path towards my real goal.

I have fully submitted myself in this mission, and I haven't been happier in my entire life before.  I am making way less money right now than I could've made if I kept pushing myself into fitting job titles but that’s not me. I am not a fashion designer, I haven't studied anything related to clothing but clothing has always been my way of expression. To find colors that match my personality to evolving my style, that had been the only thing I had control over.

If my story resonates, this space is for you. I am doing whatever I can to tap into where people can see themselves and stronger. Our first story on Post part depression gave mothers a voice to share their stories,. Our Current story of breaking and becoming is a tribute to a lost heritage of a country that has made a global impact at a cellular level of every individual who feels. And we will continue to show respect to lived experiences that have felt unseen and forgotten.  

WHO WE ARE:
“Story-driven street wear ,exploring global craftsmanship, honoring lived experiences and reviving identity.”

OUR PURPOSE:
When You Wear You exists to reframe fashion as a deeply personal experience. Every piece is designed to honor individuality, and the quiet strength of becoming who you are that the rush of the world makes us forget.
Our motto is simple: Create unique pieces that feel like home to the wearer. They just don’t sit on the body, they resonate with the soul.

BUILT AROUND YOU:
Everything begins with the wearer. From design decisions, to materials and how we show up online, everything is guided by our community. We listen carefully and craft with care. Your experiences, reflections and feedback shape what we create next, allowing the brand to grow as a reflection of you.

Can’t wait to see you own your story,
Hamra Zaidi